common fears around going to counselling:
is this the right time for me? how will i know?
in life, it is never quite the right time. we are very good at giving ourselves excuses and putting things off so then we don’t have to deal with the stuff. often, making small steps: researching therapists, finding out what therapists are in your area, maybe starting to tell friends/family about considering therapy (or not, if you prefer to keep yourself private), are all good indicators that you are preparing yourself for therapy. and making that next step might feel like the hard part. this is common for lots of people. to help, you can also request a short introduction session, or speak to the therapist by phone or Skype, put a name to a face before you start therapy. and of course, as human beings we can change our mind, and that’s ok too.
i don’t want to talk to a stranger.
it is my job to make you feel comfortable and give you the space and time to open up. the advantages of talking to a stranger are that they know nothing (initially) about your past, and are not involved personally in your life. and they won’t get bored of listening to you, or try and give you advice like friends sometimes can do. therapy, then, becomes your own private space for you to talk to a trained professional about what’s going on with you, without judgement.
therapy is too much of a commitment for me, i don’t want lots of sessions.
therapy is a commitment. however, i work with the client need which includes providing therapy in a length and format that is comfortable for them. sometimes, i work with clients in just a few sessions, and other times longer. i do ordinarily advise that up to six sessions is useful at the start, to get to know one another, to begin to feel comfortable in therapy, and to start to build trust and a therapeutic relationship, but ultimately, it’s something that can we negotiate.
my problems are not bad enough. other people go to therapy, not me. other people are worse off than i am.
we have this idea around mental health that things have to be really bad before we access help. consider how we treat our physical health, and the money and time we might put towards the maintenance of our physical body? also, what is difficult or worrying for you, may not be the same for someone else. however, this does not make your experiences or feelings any less valid. my job is to help you navigate and unpack what is important to you, whatever that is.
i’m worried that i will unleash a pandora’s box of stuff that i don’t want to deal with.
therapy is a process of building self awareness on a journey of self discovery. you may discover uncomfortable truths about yourself. but the therapeutic process ensures that these are unpacked in an unshaming and healing manner. it is true that sometimes clients experience a dip after the first few sessions, particularly when difficult material starts to unfold. as a therapist, i tread lightly around past experiences that maybe too traumatic or too painful, and we would work together to ensure that the therapeutic process keeps you safe enough in order for you to work through painful stuff.
only privileged people or people with money go to therapy.
it is true that historically therapy draws from a privileged, white, classist system. therapy is often seen to be something that those with education and money access (including the therapists themselves). also, access to therapy may depend on your privilege, healthcare system you have been in (and have access to), and sometimes simply availability in your area (including the time you are able to commit, especially if you work long hours). therapy has become less stigmatised in terms of shame around mental health, and more people are openly accessing therapy, and talking about it with their friends and family. i endeavour to provide a reasonable (enough) pay scale so that people who may not have regular income may access to therapy. i can also offer evening and early appointments to try and fit in with your working schedule.