a recent sex ed piece in Teen Vogue about Anal Sex, and the ensuing backlash from various groups made me think about how anal sex is still shamed in our culture(s).
this shame/stigma can often be carried by the LGBTQ+ communities, and this may be expressed as ignorance/risky sexual practices, which may lead to increased risk to STIs/HIV, and also isolation from self/community.
further, this can create a heteronormative parallel in the LGBTQ+ communites: orgasm and penetration (not necessarily penis/vagina penetration) become standardised practices, the thing we must get to in sex.
particularly in gay communities, there is an often critical language around sexual rôles: passive/active role, hungry bottom, aggressive top, ‘you top or bottom?’
of course, this language, and these roles can be embraced and not shamed.
however, whatever sexual community i find myself in, where are the shades of grey? how do i make my own sexual choices without feeling pressurised to conform to roles my community expects of me? maybe, i prefer not to have penetrative sex, and am i ok with this? what could sex look like for me if i removed all of these pressures/expectations?
education around sex is often heternormative, reproductively based, and focussed on penetration (penis/vagina sex). for some, this leaves an absence, a confusion: what if i do not identify with the heternormative narrative? or, what if i just want to explore other parts of my sexuality, other sexual practices apart from penetration? food for thought….
that said, knowledge is power; if i have a better and more thorough idea of my body/sex, i can then make choices.
so, here is a link to the article below. I have also included a more descriptive guide to the anus from GMFA (this is geared to those who have a prostrate). Know your body. ?
http://www.teenvogue.com/story/anal-sex-what-you-need-to-know