for Queer Clients living in Berlin and their Allies, and Queer Clients in digital spaces.
Being Visible in the Community
I hold to the tenet, agreed in the therapy community regarding the client <> therapist relationship, that no dual relationships are allowed, romantic or otherwise. I also hold my work to standard moral principles that underly counselling, particularly non-maleficence and justice, meaning what would cause the least harm, and what would be fairest for both of us in this relationship. I would like to outline, however, some grey areas around this, as we may encounter each other outside of the therapy room, both physically and/or digitally, historically, in the present, or in the future
- Physical Spaces
As queer communities are somewhat smaller than hetero communities, there is an increased likelihood that our paths may cross outside of the therapy room. And as a queer person myself, it is an important part of my identity to access the various spaces here in Berlin and online. I list some examples below, these lists not being exhaustive, but just to give you an idea:
queer parties/club venues, e.g. Berghain
queer festivals/outdoor spaces, e.g. Whole Festival; FKK (naked) areas which are common around most Berlin lakes (Kaulsdorfer, Krumme Lanke, z.B);
queer events: film festivals, art shows/Vernissagen
queer collectives: the Village, Karada house
queer gatherings: protests, vigils, marches
Normally, i contract with new clients that we may see each other out and about (at any of the above, for e.g.), and notwithstanding my Confidentiality statement written in the inital working contract, I would offer that i will not lead to acknowledge you, should i see you, but you are welcome to acknowledge me (a nod, a smile, a hello), if you wish, and i will respond in kind. Of course, you can choose to not acknowledge me, and that is totally fine.
And if we are still in therapy together, as part of my commitment to the boundaries of our therapeutic relationship, i would like to invite a reflection of the sighting of each other, after the event (next session), so that we can process anything that may have come up for you.
Should we no longer be in therapy together, obviously i can’t check in with you, but we can review this at the end of our therapy together.
- Sexualised/Play Spaces
I am not currently attending Play, Chill Out or Kink/BDSM parties here in Berlin. This includes Dark Room spaces, of which some are attached to bars, and which are present in most queer parties. At present, I’m not currently attending outdoor cruising spaces in Berlin.
- Virtual Spaces
I can be on the following apps:
Grindr, Tinder, Planet Romeo, OK Cupid, Feeld
If i recognise you on these apps, i will never message you, and it is my policy, as a right to my own privacy, that if i see a client on an app, i will block them. Let me know how you might feel about this? And as per my statement above re contact out of session, if you do message me on any of these apps, i will not respond, but will talk about it with you in the next session following the contact. If we have ended therapy, i would ask you to consider this Professional Boundaries Statement, as we will not be able to resolve anything that comes up for you if you have contacted me on these apps.
- Past, Current & Future Us
If it becomes apparent, during the initial stages of our therapy, that i know with some degree of intimacy or regularity people that are close to you (current lover/metamour, an ex, close friend, for e.g.), then i will bring this into the room. We may decide that this duality is manageable in the context of this therapeutic relationship (possibly with further boundaries). However, it is likely that we will have to recontract our work, and work to an ending of the therapeutic relationship. I can also refer you onto another therapist if needed. If we have ever been intimate (shared sexuality) in the past, i would not take you on as a client.
updated 19.10.2023