what is psychosexual therapy?
often, when talking about sex, we lack the language and the confidence to exactly describe what it is that is not working for us or blocking us. there can be so much taboo and shame around sex and the acts of sex that we then unconsciously (and consciously) may internalise some of this shame; avoidance of talking about it will seem like the best strategy. or sometimes, we are just unsure, scared, but know that when it comes to sex, things are not working for us.
the majority of us are taught about the biological function of sex, and subsequently we may learn through further experiences in adulthood what our adult sexuality may mean for us (and this, of course, may also change over time). what would it be like to to allow ourselves to explore our bodies and desires outside of this biological narrative? additionally, if we allow ourselves to view our sexuality as a core aspect of our identity, and give some time and care for this, what would this look like, and how can we do this?
what would working in a psychosexual way look like?
my job in psychosexual therapy is to start to unpick sex, finding the right language for you, to give some names to feelings and actions, to try and take away the shameful power around sex that can exist, and, drawing from sex and relationship psychologies, find some interventions and techniques that might work for you.
i may work with you around your sexual relationship history to try and build a coherent narrative and find the blocking points for you.
i may give you some homework exercises for you to do to try and reconnect with your body, your partner(s), your sexuality.
it is important to note that i am not here to medically diagnose, and i may recommend that clients get checked out by a physician if needed.
the following gives you an idea of some of the issues clients may bring. i work with clients from all sexuality and gender presentations.
- problems around arousal; blocks around sexual intimacy
- issues around penetration; vaginismus / anodyspareunia (painful receptive sex)
- issues with erections and ejaculations
- changes in sexuality/desire when on a gender transition/journey
- how coming out/inviting in processes may affect desire
- issues around sexual compulsivity (‘sex addiction’, now termed ‘out of control sexual behaviour’) and risky sexual behaviours
- understanding desire interruptions after sexual violence, abuse and harrasment